Kabhotjig is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, able squirrel.

Kabhotjig created the Cigar Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Kabhotjig, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Kabhotjig, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Kabhotjig's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Kabhotjig's Holy Commandments

1. Never mix wheat with oil.

2. Always cleanse your hands after touching aluminium.

3. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.

4. Never gather six cats near wells.

5. Never tolerate cries in holy places.