Gubbogbossjarn Hivedhad is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, unfair wombat.

Gubbogbossjarn Hivedhad created viruses nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gubbogbossjarn Hivedhad, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Gubbogbossjarn Hivedhad, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Gubbogbossjarn Hivedhad's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Gubbogbossjarn Hivedhad's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit near frogs.

2. Never fashion tools from ash.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not jump in public.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate gulls.