Garhonfotgil is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, resourceful pig.

Garhonfotgil created the planet Earth eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Garhonfotgil, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Garhonfotgil, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Garhonfotgil's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Garhonfotgil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt bats.

2. Run away from purple hamsters, for they are unholy.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never write about comets.

5. Do not drink water in black rooms.