Vagdincud is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, two-faced turtle.

Vagdincud created the Small Magellanic Cloud three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vagdincud, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Vagdincud, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Vagdincud's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Vagdincud's Holy Commandments

1. Squirrels are unholy and should not be approached.

2. You must pray to Vagdincud three times a day.

3. Do not gather at towers at dusk.

4. Never handle iron while unclean.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.