Afwanrig is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, tranquil guinea pig.

Afwanrig created snails eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Afwanrig, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Afwanrig, he will come to you in dreams.

Afwanrig's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Afwanrig's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not take Afwanrig's name in vain.

3. Afwanrig loves sharks, so they must be honoured.

4. Never paint your back fawn.

5. Do not cook food in pots.