Vedtigrig is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, caring ant.

Vedtigrig created the Large Magellanic Cloud two billion years ago.

If you believe in Vedtigrig, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vedtigrig, it will turn you into a sheep.

Vedtigrig's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Vedtigrig's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate shrews.

2. Always store garlic above ground.

3. Vedtigrig loves dogs, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not fashion sacred items from bone.

5. Do not cook food in pots.