Gatdotzan is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, slow newt.

Gatdotzan created oxygen two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gatdotzan, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gatdotzan, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Gatdotzan's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Gatdotzan's Holy Commandments

1. Never point your legs toward the west during prayer.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Always help rats in need.