Arpdutcar is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, all-powerful dryad.

Arpdutcar created bats nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Arpdutcar, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Arpdutcar, she will turn you into a goat.

Arpdutcar's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Arpdutcar's Holy Commandments

1. Always store aubergines above ground.

2. Never mix lentils with blood.

3. Remain bowed during prayer.

4. Never go into magenta rooms.

5. Bats are unholy and should not be approached.