Rutsidkap is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, unfair pig.

Rutsidkap created matter three billion years ago.

If you believe in Rutsidkap, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Rutsidkap, she will destroy your home solar system.

Rutsidkap's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Rutsidkap's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Rutsidkap on top of all buildings.

2. Do not speak of special relativity near sacred fires.

3. Heed all signs.

4. Never touch water while clean.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.