Hubfitgum is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, all-knowing guinea pig.

Hubfitgum created Africa five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hubfitgum, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Hubfitgum, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Hubfitgum's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Hubfitgum's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Do not hurt sheep.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Hide if three monkeys approach from the east.

5. Always look after injured voles.