Litvidsin is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, almighty dolphin.

Litvidsin created light seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Litvidsin, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Litvidsin, it will have a low opinion of you.

Litvidsin's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Litvidsin's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Hide if eight dogs approach from the west.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.