Gamtalxem is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, merciless horse.

Gamtalxem created the Sun three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gamtalxem, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gamtalxem, it will manifest in front of you.

Gamtalxem's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Gamtalxem's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Hide from white gulls for they are unholy.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never think ill of sick ducks.

5. Worship no other gods but Gamtalxem.