Vadhim is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, contented deer.

Vadhim created gold eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Vadhim, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Vadhim, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Vadhim's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Vadhim's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never feed cherries to seals while wearing blue stockings.

3. Run away if three gulls approach from the south.

4. Never think about cell theory.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.