Tofnurtrag is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, sage lion.

Tofnurtrag created Asia four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tofnurtrag, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Tofnurtrag, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Tofnurtrag's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Tofnurtrag's Holy Commandments

1. Never mix nuts with ash.

2. Learn four new languages a year.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Always cleanse water with water.