Methogquagtun is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, generous salamander.

Methogquagtun created a charm quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Methogquagtun, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Methogquagtun, it will try to impress you with trees.

Methogquagtun's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Methogquagtun's Holy Commandments

1. Monkeys are not to be trusted.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never hurt otters.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Methogquagtun.

5. Run away if seven goats approach from the north.