Kadbottalcam is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, cheerful swallow.

Kadbottalcam created matter four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kadbottalcam, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Kadbottalcam, she will send you a sign.

Kadbottalcam's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Kadbottalcam's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Kadbottalcam on top of all buildings.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never think about chlorophyll.

4. Always help snails in need.

5. Never pray while filled with fear.