Yikfodlarn is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, almighty goblin.

Yikfodlarn created the universe three billion years ago.

If you believe in Yikfodlarn, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Yikfodlarn, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Yikfodlarn's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Yikfodlarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about turnips.

2. Always help monkeys in need.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Always treat badgers with great respect.

5. Yikfodlarn loves rats, so they must be honoured.