Zakbafvig is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, caring squirrel.

Zakbafvig created a top quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Zakbafvig, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Zakbafvig, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Zakbafvig's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Zakbafvig's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear cyan trousers.

2. Never allow moths to sleep beneath your roof.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never point your hands toward the west during prayer.

5. Never hurt badgers.