Tipnatkap Panjinjip is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, awe-inspiring yak.

Tipnatkap Panjinjip created energy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Tipnatkap Panjinjip, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tipnatkap Panjinjip, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Tipnatkap Panjinjip's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Tipnatkap Panjinjip's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed cucumbers to tortoises while wearing jumpers.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Tipnatkap Panjinjip.