Flantarphan is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, emotional lion.

Flantarphan created a top quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Flantarphan, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Flantarphan, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Flantarphan's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Flantarphan's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from purple tortoises, for they are unholy.

2. Hide if nine gulls approach from the east.

3. Never think ill of sick mites.

4. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Do not commit murder.