Genbimbap is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, happy crocodile.

Genbimbap created parasitic wasps two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Genbimbap, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Genbimbap, he will have a low opinion of you.

Genbimbap's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Genbimbap's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine aardvarks approach from the south.

2. Never jump in the presence of sheep.

3. Never talk about spacetime near frogs while wearing black ear rings.

4. Never eat figs on holy days.

5. Do not wear boots marked with orange.