Quartbepfon is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, all-knowing sheep.

Quartbepfon created carbon four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quartbepfon, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Quartbepfon, he will turn you into a frog.

Quartbepfon's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Quartbepfon's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured aardvarks.

2. Mice are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Never allow porpoises to witness sacred rites.

5. Never paint your neck yellow.