Joparttip is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, caring hamster.

Joparttip created silver four million years ago.

If you believe in Joparttip, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Joparttip, it will jump up and down on your head.

Joparttip's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Joparttip's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at dwarf planets.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never talk about fire.