Koncetzag is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, weak giraffe.

Koncetzag created the cosmos nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Koncetzag, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Koncetzag, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Koncetzag's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Koncetzag's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from pink frogs for they are unholy.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never talk about spacetime near bats while wearing indigo boots.

4. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a building before entering it.

5. Never feed lots of figs to turtles while wearing violet dresses.