Wodjopmid is a god.

It takes the form of a small, unfair lizard.

Wodjopmid created a bottom quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Wodjopmid, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Wodjopmid, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Wodjopmid's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Wodjopmid's Holy Commandments

1. Never whisper while facing east.

2. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

3. Always cleanse your hands after touching platinum.

4. Pray only in moonlight.

5. Do not trade with those who eat turnips.