Sitflagfar is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, calm raccoon.

Sitflagfar created Europe eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sitflagfar, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Sitflagfar, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Sitflagfar's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Sitflagfar's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never talk about black holes.

3. Never wear shirts.

4. Always help frogs.

5. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.