Bessquatmon is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, competent dolphin.

Bessquatmon created tapeworms four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bessquatmon, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bessquatmon, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Bessquatmon's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Bessquatmon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Always make sure there are no badgers in a building before entering it.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not eat cucumbers.