Cimfentun is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, dishonest octopus.

Cimfentun created humankind five billion years ago.

If you believe in Cimfentun, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Cimfentun, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Cimfentun's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Cimfentun's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never talk about moons.

3. Never feed carrots to nematodes while wearing fawn coats.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate shrews.

5. Never feed turnips to capybaras while wearing ear rings.