Quimsawfig is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, capable jaguar.

Quimsawfig created a strange quark four years ago.

If you believe in Quimsawfig, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Quimsawfig, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Quimsawfig's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Quimsawfig's Holy Commandments

1. Never curse while facing west.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never speak aloud of names.

4. Always wear brown.

5. Never talk about dwarf planets.