Kinjontag is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, weak fish.

Kinjontag created water five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kinjontag, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Kinjontag, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Kinjontag's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Kinjontag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak sacred words in summer.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never tolerate songs in holy places.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not make images of living things.