Ominvogtik Boncunstan is a god.

She takes the form of a small, omnipotent shark.

Ominvogtik Boncunstan created Europe six million years ago.

If you believe in Ominvogtik Boncunstan, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ominvogtik Boncunstan, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Ominvogtik Boncunstan's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Ominvogtik Boncunstan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Ominvogtik Boncunstan's name in vain.

2. Ominvogtik Boncunstan loves dolphins, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never talk about shrews.

5. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in orange.