Fatpidhiv is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, boastful tortoise.

Fatpidhiv created the Virgo Supercluster eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fatpidhiv, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fatpidhiv, it will turn you into a worm.

Fatpidhiv's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Fatpidhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never leap in holy places.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Do not wear red clothing.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.