Hogwipquart Canvonvabnib is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, duplicitous tortoise.

Hogwipquart Canvonvabnib created viruses six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hogwipquart Canvonvabnib, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Hogwipquart Canvonvabnib, he will come to you in dreams.

Hogwipquart Canvonvabnib's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Hogwipquart Canvonvabnib's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Hogwipquart Canvonvabnib in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never feed nuts to tapirs while wearing mauve shorts.

3. Never look at galaxies.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.