Wiplargtonk is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, egotistical armadillo.

Wiplargtonk created the planet Venus eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wiplargtonk, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Wiplargtonk, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Wiplargtonk's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Wiplargtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not utter prayers while touching carbon.

4. You must pray to Wiplargtonk four times a day.

5. Never wear white rings on sacred days.