Timyarpyattnul is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, sage donkey.

Timyarpyattnul created the Black Eye Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Timyarpyattnul, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Timyarpyattnul, he will destroy your home planet.

Timyarpyattnul's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Timyarpyattnul's Holy Commandments

1. Never mark doors with violet.

2. Always remove skirts before touching tin.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Do not kill dogs.