Carkimtan is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, humane goblin.

Carkimtan created Mount Everest seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Carkimtan, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Carkimtan, she will throw large rocks at you.

Carkimtan's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Carkimtan's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not speak about oranges.

4. Never fashion tools from clay.

5. Erect a giant copper sculpture of Carkimtan in the centre of the settlement.