Caplipbass is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, annoying gerbil.

Caplipbass created light three million years ago.

If you believe in Caplipbass, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Caplipbass, she will destroy your home planet.

Caplipbass' most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Caplipbass' Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never think ill of sick great tits.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Worship no other gods but Caplipbass.