Kemmetlarn Natyogcut is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, amazing armadillo.

Kemmetlarn Natyogcut created the Small Magellanic Cloud five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kemmetlarn Natyogcut, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Kemmetlarn Natyogcut, he will come to you in dreams.

Kemmetlarn Natyogcut's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Kemmetlarn Natyogcut's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Always make sure there are no mice in a building before entering it.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kemmetlarn Natyogcut.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.