Fagtaplist is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, narcissistic hamster.

Fagtaplist created the planet Saturn three billion years ago.

If you believe in Fagtaplist, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Fagtaplist, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Fagtaplist's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Fagtaplist's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair gray.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not speak sacred words in summer.

4. Never think about quantum mechanics near otters while wearing red hats and balancing six platinum spheres on your chest.

5. Never handle silicon while unclean.