Kiptifbom is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, unsympathetic walrus.

Kiptifbom created an atom seven million years ago.

If you believe in Kiptifbom, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Kiptifbom, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Kiptifbom's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Kiptifbom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

2. Never think about bacteria.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Always obey Kiptifbom's priests.