Bedfed is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, witty jackal.

Bedfed created tapeworms eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bedfed, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bedfed, he will have a low opinion of you.

Bedfed's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Bedfed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.

2. Never paint your feet purple.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bedfed.

5. Never wear coats.