Lenfid is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, capable unicorn.

Lenfid created everything that exists two billion years ago.

If you believe in Lenfid, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Lenfid, he will boil you in a big pot.

Lenfid's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Lenfid's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate great tits.

3. Never talk about gravity near moths while wearing orange ear rings and balancing eight carbon spheres on your hands.

4. Never think about quantum mechanics.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Lenfid.