Flabfetlarg is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, self-confident narwhal.

Flabfetlarg created Asia eight million years ago.

If you believe in Flabfetlarg, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Flabfetlarg, it will turn you into a duck.

Flabfetlarg's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Flabfetlarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip near aardvarks.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never talk about moths.

4. Never think about chromosomes.

5. Never eat green fruit.