Satbamfub is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, cheerful squid.

Satbamfub created matter three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Satbamfub, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Satbamfub, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Satbamfub's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Satbamfub's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not laugh in public.

3. Never write about dwarf planets.

4. Satbamfub must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never hurt otters.