Sabluncar is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, blissful lizard.

Sabluncar created carbon two million years ago.

If you believe in Sabluncar, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Sabluncar, he will ignore you.

Sabluncar's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Sabluncar's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never bounce in holy places.

4. Never write about archaea.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.