Rowruttjam Rapfuncut is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, omnipotent hummingbird.

Rowruttjam Rapfuncut created the cosmos three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rowruttjam Rapfuncut, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Rowruttjam Rapfuncut, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Rowruttjam Rapfuncut's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Rowruttjam Rapfuncut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Always wear turquoise.

3. Never look at comets.

4. Never think about thermodynamics near snails while wearing green corsets and balancing six iron spheres on your head.

5. Never hurt pigs.