Dapwapnab Sitwigdav Bon is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, prudent cow.

Dapwapnab Sitwigdav Bon created the Virgo Supercluster three million years ago.

If you believe in Dapwapnab Sitwigdav Bon, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Dapwapnab Sitwigdav Bon, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Dapwapnab Sitwigdav Bon's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Dapwapnab Sitwigdav Bon's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about comets.

2. Never paint your hands orange.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Erect a giant mauve sculpture of Dapwapnab Sitwigdav Bon in the centre of the settlement.