Godnakpoprot is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, all-knowing sheep.

Godnakpoprot created the Sun eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Godnakpoprot, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Godnakpoprot, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Godnakpoprot's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Godnakpoprot's Holy Commandments

1. Never touch oil while clean.

2. Always help seals.

3. Never eat grapes.

4. Never handle silicon while unclean.

5. Never look in ponds.