Sabspagbop is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, intelligent elephant.

Sabspagbop created the Sun eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sabspagbop, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Sabspagbop, he will turn you into a worm.

Sabspagbop's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Sabspagbop's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near capybaras while wearing violet stockings and balancing five carbon spheres on your hands.

2. Never mark doors with red.

3. Never feed spinach to mites while wearing magenta skirts.

4. Never gather eight snails in one place.

5. Feed all hungry aardvarks.