Gomwadlam is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, competent clam.

Gomwadlam created the planet Jupiter three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gomwadlam, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gomwadlam, he will be very unhappy.

Gomwadlam's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Gomwadlam's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if eight whales approach from the west.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Do not take Gomwadlam's name in vain.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Gomwadlam on top of all buildings.