Hitjambam is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, ruthless toad.

Hitjambam created silver three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hitjambam, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Hitjambam, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Hitjambam's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Hitjambam's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant in the presence of great tits.

2. Never think about ultrasonics near gulls while wearing turquoise scarves and balancing five carbon spheres on your neck.

3. Always help tortoises in need.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never eat green fruit.