Binflagtonk Afbiflab Rakwiggig is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, effective mole.

Binflagtonk Afbiflab Rakwiggig created snails eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Binflagtonk Afbiflab Rakwiggig, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Binflagtonk Afbiflab Rakwiggig, he will turn you into a mole.

Binflagtonk Afbiflab Rakwiggig's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Binflagtonk Afbiflab Rakwiggig's Holy Commandments

1. Remain kneeling during prayer.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Run away from yellow tortoises, for they are unholy.

4. Do not kill gulls.

5. Binflagtonk Afbiflab Rakwiggig loves monkeys, so they must be honoured.