Bomlunquim is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, egotistical pig.

Bomlunquim created time and space three million years ago.

If you believe in Bomlunquim, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bomlunquim, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Bomlunquim's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Bomlunquim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Erect six zinc sculptures of Bomlunquim on top of important buildings.

3. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Bomlunquim in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never wear shirts.

5. Never write about thermodynamics.