Nulbagbell is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, resourceful cat.

Nulbagbell created light six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nulbagbell, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Nulbagbell, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Nulbagbell's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Nulbagbell's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about thermodynamics.

2. Erect four gold sculptures of Nulbagbell on top of important buildings.

3. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a room before entering it.

5. Nematodes are unholy and should not be approached.